Category Archives: self improvement

Conflict management

without reprehensible actions there will be less room for reprehension
without reprehensible actions
there will be less room for reprehension

If you don’t want to read too much, the meme I made for this article summarizes preety well what the article says.

I have a method quite effective to avoid conflicts with your employer, partner, friends, etc:

  • 90% by avoiding doing things that are reprensible, or a reprensible attitude.
  • 10% by accepting reprensible things, or reprensible attitudes.

This doesn’t avoid all conflicts, but it leaves less room for reprisements.
In the 1st. item attacking causes, and in the 2nd. one, managing the consequences.

Some clarifications:

  1. Of course, anyone can judge on his/her way. Also, there will be a unanimous(?) agreement that on some acts are more than reprisable. They are unacceptable.
  2. Each person will establish his/her percentages according to the type of relationship we’re talking about: are we talking about your mate? your job, your friends? etc…
  3. And I never said these percentages will remain still. They may probably go back and forward, depending how old, the time of your life, your experiences. Today it can be 90/10, tomorrow 70/30, even 50/50, etc…

My only warning would be: don’t wait to the point where we are 90% accepting (or expecting acceptation).
Don’t play with your patience. Don’t play with the patience of others.

Problems of Argentina

bandera-argentina

One of my Facebook contact published the following request (complete the sentence):

The problem is not Macri, it’s not Cristina. The problem of Argentina is that ___.

Also clarifying that those who know how to correctly complete the sentence, will also know that there is no short-term solution. Mi answer was:

The problem is not Macri, it’s not Cristina. The problem of Argentina is that “is full of argentinians”.

He said that this phrase was said several times, and from people that doesn’t live inside a bubble.

My reasons:

It’s quite sad – we usually take advantage (sometimes this is *good*, but the problem is when we bypass rules and/or authority). Just stand in a street intersection, just 2 minutes.

When the semaphore goes from green to yellow, it means: “Hurry up”, and for motorcycles, semaphore’s red color is simply optional.

People walking, cross the street on every place. I’ve seen and did it several times. It’s not a particular case, it’s something GENERAL/GLOBAL. All really sad.

I’m a participant, not just pointing with my finger. A direct and indiret participant.

Direct: when I cross wherever I want. Crossing the exclusive-for-bus path on the middle of the street. Maybe I’ll learn and reflect this when I got hit by a motorcycle (which uses the exclusive-for-bus path as a highway).

Indirect: when I see someone else doing the same, I start losing the chance to get surprised, and get angry. We allow this.

Second problem: “we fix it with a wire”. I think I’ve read this from Marcos Aguinis. But this phrase is a classic. This is something good by itself. It can be a reason for admiration, inside and outside the country. To find an alternative and valid solution, without the expected resources. Where is the problem? When we think that the wire works for everything. And in our toolbox, we have ONLY wires. Too bad!

There must be dozens of issues, but I think that if we can get rid of those 2, we can move on for the better :)

Selective sensitivity of environment

dartboard
dartboard
Using difficult words, I thought about naming it: selective sensitivity of environment.
In easy words: know what to pay attention, and what not.
This is something common, and people that REACH their objectives have this ability. Worldwide known people, and anonymous ones. And it goes far beyond just focusing: these ‘different’ people can decide where to put their attention, in a very smart way.

Continue reading

6 questions that may help you to have a better life

question-sign

Today, I’ve managed to put together this list of questions. It’s not the first time that I’ve asked and answered them, eventually, and each one separated from the rest.

Remarkably, I usually answer 0 (ZERO) for most of the questions.

There is something worse than answering 0, which is not paying enough attention of that, which means: doing NOTHING to change those answers.
And I think that the worst of it all: is NOT even take 10 minutes of your time, to just ASK these questions. Yes! this shouln’t take more than 10 minutes!!!

I always receive feedback, evaluations, I evaluate myself over several aspects. But in the rush of every day of your life, I usually forget the important.

You may find helpful to ask this EVERY WEEK OF YOUR LIFE:

About your last week:

  1. Number of days used to make exercise?
  2. Number of days used to read a book?
  3. Number of days used to learn something new?
  4. Number of days used to teach something new?
  5. Number of days used to INTENTIONALLY get closer to my dreams and future plans?
  6. Number of days used to INTENTIONALLY be happy?

These are just 6 questions, and I am sure that you can customize this in order to have a list that suits you better.
Feel free to ADD YOUR OWN (useful) questions.

I hope that for most of them, you can write down “7″ as an answer.
And even for the last 2 items, which may result somewhat abstract and/or poetical, I hope that 7 days a week are not enough for you. If so, THAT may represent a great life.
If you paid attention, I didn’t focus on the results, but on the actions.

And most of all, I honestly hope that you ask yourself these questions NOW, instead of the day that you are dying.
You probably didn’t hear about Bronnie Ware. This nurse listened to the most common regrets of dying people, and wrote an article, and a book about it. It’s not my intention to add noise where there is already a lot on internet. You can Google her to see what I am talking about.

This article has the objective to avoid you to regret, but to build the life that you want.
No regrets. Just plans, and actions that make those plans a REALITY. Pursue your happiness, every week, every day.
Go! You can start NOW.

Is it a good idea to be the best in your field?

first-place In order to make a quick response. It is ALWAYS GOOD to aim to be the best in your field. Period. However, the longer answer, should be: it depends. Seth Godin said that you can’t be the “next Seth Godin” because he is still around! That made me think of options and alternatives. You can’t be Roger Federer in tennis, because he is still there. Hey! but you can be even ‘better’ than him (check at the ranking right now). This can lead to discussion, because, besides ranking, there is a LOT, a LOT of people that consider Roger as the best tennis player of all times, no matter his current ranking position (and I have to say, that I completely agree). You can’t be Lionel Messi, because he is still there. Anyway Cristiano Ronaldo won the latest Golden ball prize. What’s my point? Again, it’s great to aim to be the best in your field. But, you may be choosing the wrong field, or the right field, but with the wrong difficulty. Does it make sense to be the Google of Search Engines? Yes sure, but the dificulty is VERY HARD. You can aim for that particular long tail that Google doesn’t do quite well, if there is such a chance. But, always, difficulty is (almost) IMPOSSIBLE. – Aim for the best – Check who is already there. – Check difficulty – avoid being a copycat. That’s all, thanks!

Ten SMALL things than can make a HUGE positive impact in your life

ID-100159198-change This is one of the most important things I’m going to write. Why? Because it describes my not so basic instincts and priorities. I’d really LOVE to know what you think. And of course, feel free to disagree. Here we go. The ten SMALL things that can make HUGE positive impact in your life are: Continue reading

Smart use of negative anticipation

Negative anticipation I know a lot of you don’t like to read too much. So, I have for you a quite smaller version of this article. So little that it fits in a tweet. Actually, I may possibly tweet this: You can BREAK Murphy’s Laws, but please…do not ignore them! (José Negreira dixit :) ) Ok, that’s the end of the short version! Extended version I feel motivation to write about negative anticipation, not just because I know a lot of close people that deals with it, but it also happens TO MYSELF. Continue reading

What is success?

success image
success

About 1 year ago, I’ve shared via Facebook the following phrase: “What is Success? it is the ability to go to sleep with a peaceful soul”.

I think it’s author is Paulo Coelho but I can’t confirm it. After thinking in my commute, I can say I disagree with the phrase.

Despite I shared it, I don’t share that way of thinking.

Let’s see:

Is it a nice phrase? yes

is it comfortable? yes BUT, I wouldn’t use the word ‘Success’, I can say… ‘peace’, ‘personal happiness’, but I would not use the word SUCCESS to describe that. That phrase, tends to hold ourselves back. Continue reading